Do you have your child’s heart?
Friday, September 28th, 2007Someone once told me that more than anything I need to have my child’s heart. What that means is that my child has the desire to please me and knows what will do that and is willing and chooses to please me even when I am not around (that is the big one) or when he doesn’t want to.
I believe that this is so essential as I become more experienced as a parent. It’s so important that your children learn to obey you and to do what you ask. And even more than just behavior I believe whole heartedly that teaching your kids to choose to obey you as a parent is really teaching them to know and love Christ. I can’t stress enough how closely those two things are related!
This came up today because last night Seth decided that after being disciplined that he would knock over a cup…the cup was empty and didn’t do any damage but it was his way of showing me that he was angry and didn’t want to do what I had told him (he was supposed to do a timeout). At the time I saw this as acting out, as him struggling to put aside his anger about being disciplined and his inability to accept that he was wrong for disobeying and not seeing his need to humble himself and submit to the authority I have as his father in disciplining him. BUT today I thought about that, I looked across the breakfast table at him happy and having fun and saw a different picture, I saw that this struggle of obeying and submitting isn’t just a behavior thing, but instead we are actually down in the trenches fighting the war for his soul. It really hit me hard that the actions we take as parents in these situations are the trench battles in the broader war that is who will own their soul…is it the devil or will it be Christ?
Think about it, in this life we will ALWAYS serve someone. When metal meets metal we are either serving ourself (the devil) or Christ, there is NO third option and it is impossible to serve both. And by teaching our children to not obey their desire to be angry and act out when disciplined but to instead submit to our authority as parents, understand they did something wrong and use their head to choose to accept the discipline and learn from it we are laying the essential groundwork for Christ to get a hold of their lives! If we do not make laying this groundwork a priority above almost everything else with our children I believe we are failing our requirements as Christian parents. One way or another my son is going to serve someone, I would prefer to see him serve the creator of the universe, and if I’ve done my job right he will know how to choose to deny his flesh, pick up his cross and follow Christ when that decision comes!
That is what it’s all about, it’s all about laying that groundwork for Christ. And I’m not saying if we don’t do this our children won’t be saved but I would suggest that the saving process will be more difficult. We all know that Christ needs us to be broken before He can build us in His image, and if we have taught our children to be able to put aside their desires at the right times and to obey us, then that will naturally transfer over to putting aside their selfish desires and obeying Christ, compared to Christ having to put them through the ringer to get their soul.
My encouragement to Christian parents is to get your child’s heart! Do it early, don’t stop, and don’t get distracted, this is possibly the most important objective you have in your life on earth, keep working no matter how hard it is and don’t give up, do it with love and with prayer but never stop until your child understands how to obey their Father in heaven by obeying you as their parent. This is a fight for their soul, don’t be misguided that it is anything less.
Now go…man up and fight the battle! Do it with love, do it with prayer, do it with kindness but don’t compromise and think that this is anything less than essential in your children’s eternity!
(JP)